Don´t forget to care for the Daddies.
Having a child is surely the most beautiful act that two people in love can commit - it´s momentous and yet so often after the miraculous event mummy and baby take centre stage whilst daddy is left to carry the heavy financial and emotional burdens of starting a new family with very little or no support.
Who is there for daddy to talk to when he is stressed from working long hours to pay for the ever increasing cost of living - daddy who gets nagged at to do all the DIY, daddy who is shouted at for not dressing the baby correctly, daddy who stays strong for mummy, who looses his right to watch football on a Saturday afternoon and laze around in his underpants. Daddy it seems can do no right at times - and sooner or later something will have to give.
My partner is so stressed from working incredibly hard this month and when he comes home and just wants to flake-out on the sofa he has to listen to me telling him that there is more to life than watching TV - imagine, for sure he wants to kill me. Now Ru is experiencing worrying dizzy spells and low blood pressure and it´s time to nip this in the bud pronto, because this daddy is very special.
If you see that your partner seems stressed, working long hours, maybe drinking/smoking a bit more than normal, losing their temper easily, experiencing sleeping problems or making excuses to spend time away from home then make a positive plan….
1. Less nagging more compliments. It´s only natural to nag, I know - my Nana is the Queen of nagging and I learnt from the best - but do try and keep it at a ratio of 10% as a oppose to 99%. By simply asking your partner if he has had a nice day and complimenting him when he hangs up that picture will make the world of difference. Highlight his good points and stop focussing on what appears to be bad.
2. Give him some space. When you become a daddy is does not mean you automatically stop wanting to play Playstaion with your friends, watch your favourite programms or go to the pub. Allow for this time, we all need our own space to breath and relax.
3. Encourage relaxation. I´ve signed my partner up for a free 10 day for 10 minutes meditation trial at Headspace.com https://www.headspace.com - you could also try running them a bath, playing their favourite music whilst you eat dinner and buying them a good book.
4. Intimacy. Don´t forget to try and make time for intimacy, I know it can be very hard when you´re so exhausted but human contact is healthy and essential for happiness.
5. Sport. If your partner wants to go for a run/bike ride/gym session - great, let him go. Anything that will help reduce stress and boost his mood should be welcomed.
6. Love. Tell him that you and the children love him dearly. We all need to hear these words, even daddies.
7. Gifts. Encourage your children to draw daddy a picture/make him a card and perhaps buy him a lovely pair of socks or underpants. It´s the little things that count.
8. Healthy food. Of course daddy should do his fair share of cooking and cleaning but when it is your turn to cook make sure your meal is super healthy and tasty to nourish your loved-one from the inside.
9. Laugh. Chances are you´ll find it very easy to burst into fits of laughter when your offspring pulls a funny face or even does a loud trumpy. Yea, laugh, it´s funny and great for the soul.
10. Family. Make equal space for both sets of parents and friends. Finding equality in these areas is vital and having his family close will make daddy feel secure and grounded.
“Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad” Author Unknown.