Blossoming in crisis
How I discovered a way to face Mums sickness with strength and positivity.
You don’t expect your mum to die at 58, but then I guess there’s a part of us that never expects our mum to die. Everyone has a mum: that special one with whom you share an unbreakable, unconditional love; whether your relationship in the external World is close or distant, it’s a love that transcends words, disagreements - even Worlds, it’s cosmic. Our mum has liver disease, the Doctors have told us that it is irreparable and while she’s certainly not dead yet we’ve been close; one moment the Consultant was guiding us into her office to inform us Mum only had hours left to live and then the following day we were told she was showing signs of improvement; I’ve been back and forth between Spain and England, up and down and spinning all around. It’s an emotional roller coaster to say the least - one that before my spiritual practice would have left my nerves absolutely frayed, one that would have sent me spiralling into a cloud of depressions, weight loss, insomnia and anxiety but instead of this I’ve discovered a way to face these challenges in great spirits, bringing peace to the the storm and smiles to her sickbed; I’ve slept well, ate well and even laughed loudly - and what a great way this is to live. Hard situations can draw out the best in us as they lovingly force us beyond ego and its limitations and defense mechanisms.
So how do we blossom in crisis exactly, well the first step is to decide to do so. When faced with a challenge, whatever it might be: breakup, job loss, death, sickness, you will make either a unconscious or subconscious decision about how to deal with it. You can either choose to deal with it like a victim, allowing yourself to feel self-pity, blaming others, craving attention, perhaps becoming needy, dependant, negative, or you choose to face it like a warrior - determined to allow yourself to thrive, grow, learn and love. So make that decisions right now with the mantra: I see every challenge in life as an opportunity to grow into the person I am intended to be. Secondly, know that you need help to achieve this.
You are not an island and you are never alone, the moment you shut yourself off from the world and think, ‘I can do this, I don’t need anyone else’, you’ve just condemned yourself to fail. I believe the reason people hide from others is because they fear they will let them down… well they will. People will let you down, people will not always be reliable and consistent, learn that early on, accept that and continue to open your arms for a hug regardless; remember you are a warrior not a weakling . Let go of your habitual sense of isolation and lonely separateness and make meaningful connections. In this moment I’ve turned to old, loyal caring friends, my partner, my daughter, my auntie and grandparents, dog and mum’s friends for light, I’ve also called upon the protective energy of the Universe and embarked upon a daily meditation ritual in order to create a protective shield of loving energy around my entire being so I can share it will all, I’ve even called upon Angles and God, whatever works for you - take it.
Now you need to think about what tools you need to make all of the above happen. Funnily enough I’ve replaced my morning yoga asana practice with a hilarious dance routine that makes me laugh, sweat and feel alive. I’ve literally boogied around my friends spare room every morning before heading to the hospital, starting the day in the way I intend to live: happily, energised and with high heart energy. I’ve stuck to three meals a day and eight glasses of water even when there’s little time to eat, my sister and I have worked shifts at the ward and during my breaks I’ve been for my hair done, I’ve had my nails painted - basically I’ve respected and loved myself dearly so I can give exactly the same to Mum. Think what things you can do every single day to raise your vibration, happiness is a inside job that you need to work hard at. Wisely collect your happiness tools, even if it feels like you’re forcing it - do it because your Soul is listening.
My sister and I have truly embraced this opportunity to be care-givers, to be pulled out of own heads and self-centredness. It makes you feel Superhuman. Whatever your pain is refuse to fade, connect with your very highest self and believe in miracles. I can’t say what and when will happen to Mum but one thing we do know is: we are all doing the absolute best we can in this beautiful moment of life that has been generously given to us.