"Life is about change. Sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's beautiful. But most of the time, it's both." —Lana Lang⠀
Bella was pretty pleased with the move to Spain from London.
My then new boyfriend, Ru! Now he is my hubby.
Bella´s new abuelo, Jesus!
I can clearly remember the month leading up to my pre-30´s Total Life Change. I was 28 at the time and the inner waters of my body were boiling over, I couldn´t sleep very well and when I did manage to get some rest I would wake up in a total panic, I lost a lot of weight and started partying extra hard to try and mask my ickiness, little did I know at the time that my soul was literally grabbing every fibre of my being desperately trying to awaken me to the fact that my life wasn´t on track.
Funnily enough, life seemed pretty desirable from the outside, I was living with a nice guy in a cute flat on Highgate Hill, I had an amazing job at ELLE magazine and was working with a fab group of teamies on Carnaby Street in London, I received plenty of free PR gifts like Mulberry handbags and top face creams along with invites to cool parties at places like Shoreditch House. And yet despite all this it was clear from the intuitive nagging feeling present in my gut that something was not right, I was being pulled by an invisible force of nature and I think that force is called God.
I am a big believer that life is a co-creation between you and the universe and we are constantly magnetizing people, situations, places and opportunities towards us that match our predominant energy in the form of thoughts, emotions and actions - and as the universe delivers what is vibrating at your frequency it is then your job to make the correct decisions and take the best route.
Life is literally a sum total of all the decisions you make and therefore they should always be made from the innocence of your heart; the part of you that wants to dream the sweetest dream, live the happiest life and spread the deepest love. The path is absolutely not easy, the best changes in life make you cry and feel afraid but when you are fighting for happiness and fulfilment, common sense and fitting-in have to be lovingly tossed out the window and replaced with the inner knowledge that the pull you feel is the spark of divinity saying…
"Come on, we can do better than this please! Don't forget YOU are divine! Aim High!"⠀
Some more advice from me would be, when this inner compass comes tapping on your shoulder it really is worth taking a few steps back from life, maybe stepping out of your current tribe and habits, making some space for self-reflection and inquiry. This can be done in a number of ways, for me it was through yoga, I would literally go to my Primrose Hill studio, unplug for 90 blissful minutes a day and it was during these precious moments of self-care that I was able to listen to the voice within, becoming aware of what I needed to do and where I needed to go, repositioning myself in greater alignment with who I was born to be. You might find it helpful to go on a yoga retreat (I host yoga retreats in the north of Spain that are specifically designed to help you come home to your true self, you can read more here) or on a solo trip island hopping around Greece, journaling, walking in nature, reading inspirational books, listening to inspirational podcasts - there are many different ways to touch base but what is of vital importance is that you take the time to listen and don´t just push on through creating a sense of disharmony, stress, anxiety and deep sadness and longing within.
Look, you know YOU and you need to do YOU and while it might not be plain sailing please always remember that what you want, wants you to.
After about 3 months of intense yoga in Primmy Hill I met my now-husband Ru at a music festival that I was covering for work, I soon fell pregnant with Bella and moved to Spain which was equally thrilling and daunting. I suffered from depression when I left my life behind and cried nearly every day and yet every time I practised yoga and got still enough to listen to that voice inside, It was still there encouraging me, ensuring me that this was exactly where I was meant to be, so I stuck with it, I chose to trust and wow, I am so glad I did!! I now have a life of my wildest dreams - which is what I allowed myself to find.
Be brave, change often and always aim for the absolute highest you possibly can... Love you 🦋⠀
