I guess the alternative and ironic title of this post could perhaps be ´The Importance of Just Doing You´ and yet I've sometimes found it seems so contradictory to share such an easy-going approach to this kind of teaching. If you're anything like me and you struggled in the past with the invisible yet tangible expectations placed on you by both yourself and all the people who have entered your life as the years rolled by, you'll know it feels hard to take a step back, notice and admit that you may have lost your True Self in the midst of trying to get it right.
I recently shared about my personal experience of remembering who I am via my online accounts, if you follow along you maybe have seen I seem to have diverted from a super calm and understated yogi back into my old Self in pink hot pants, dancing on the beach, asking my students to scream ´YES´up into the ether and turning up my productivity rate from about 5 on a good day to an easy 8 every day. There are so many things that I simply can't put into words about how I gradually began to abandon myself, in fact - did I ever really know myself is a question that sits heavy on my heart at the possible truth behind the inquiry and yet the penny has finally dropped quite loudly and suddenly for me.
My transformation into the RIGHT kinda girl started when I had left London and moved to a very beautiful and prestigious (for want of a better word!) area in northern Spain (I honestly say all this with the greatest level of respect, gratitude and love for the town I live and for the various places where everyone lives, I honestly love ALL places, I´m simply laying down my personal facts) and so I unconsciously shaped myself into a person that I believed would be more suitable, a girl that would find it a little easier to fit in. It almost feels like the equivalent of when you're a teenager and you feel like you need to blend into every social situation offered to you, it´s both a survival mechanism, there is definitely a level of maturity and sensibility to this approach, I mean it´s a desirable quality to be able to adapt to a variety of social situations and be considered as at least likeable; the problem is after the show most of us go home from said social jaunt and slip back into our Soul coat and be ourselves - yet I never did, I kept on the mask I was wearing and forgot to take it off.
Of course, there are so many ways the same type of self-abandonment can happen, you name it, you´ve probably heard about it: from people losing themselves to their job, to a messy divorce, new relationship, a new group of friends, an old group of friends that they forgot to upgrade, grief, depression, disappointment, miscarriage, cancer - the list really is endless but the cure is actually quite simple. The only problem is: we don´t often seem to like simple.
But one day suddenly you realise that in fact there are only so many years in a lifetime. And you know what? There are still only so many days in a week and still only so many hours in a day - making it completely our choice and privilege as to how we spend them. And the more I purposefully shine my authentic light every day, ensuring that when do I still show respect and love for the benefit of myself and anyone who chooses to be a part of this community, the more I start to find the joy in life again. The new voice I´ve found, the opinions I´ve been dying to share, the very loud laughter I have, the days I dance and breathe, scream and chant in my bedroom, the chats with new soul friends, standing barefoot in the garden with my coffee, hugging my magic tree and not caring who sees, even remembering how I love fashion, beauty and clothes - things that always bring me some bursts of joy but they bring me more joy that is in connection with the very truth with who I am at a soul level, without also feeling like I have to filter myself to fit in.
One of the traits I have that's seemingly very common as a Capricorn (I'm a Christmas day baby if you believe in the star signs which I always suggest is a good thing to at least look over) is being very ambitious, quite extremely and finally, I feel I can take a deep breath, relax my shoulders and not let my ambitious nature overwhelm me and instead say: “OK, this is who I am, how can I honour my nature?”
We always say with a deep sigh that it's the small things that mean the most, well who knew it was actually your soul that really mattered the most? The importance of remembering who you are will never be lost, even if those small things don't always coincide with a massive revelation, it´s a small day by day process of coming back home to your true self - but it´s a journey I highly urge you take.
Love you community, hope you feel the flutter of your truth, even if it's in a small thing x