Why finding fulfilment in life does not look the same for everyone and how to start

If you´d have come to one of my yoga retreats a few years ago you would have found a more naive Me teaching, as a hardcore yoga philosophy girl who clung to her battered copy of the Yoga Sutras like a clutch, that yoga was all about the mind, that yoga was all about service sacrifice and ethics, that yoga was all about this and all about that and it literally took years of practice, study and working on myself to realise that fulfilment/happiness/joy/ spirituality/peace isn't a one-stop-shop for all. It doesn't look the same, it doesn't feel the same and if it's truly fulfilling, it should be beneficial for every aspect of your life, not just one sector of it. But why is that? Why is the definition of true fulfilment, not the way we all traditionally see it and experience it? Surely those strict, judging and extreme yogic attitudes never garnered much success? After all, isn´t that why the Buddha coined the term The Middle Path. So here's why fulfilment shouldn't and can't look the same for all of us…

I guess for the majority of us, at least at one time or another, our first instinct in defining fulfilment, likely would have been the classic working in a job you love, finding true love, balancing your work with your home, owning a beautiful house, maybe having a few cute children or pets - all while being surrounded by a supportive circle of friends and being able to find time to focus on your healthset too. I know as a mama, business owner, wife, teacher, house owner, friend, daughter, dog mummy and wellness lover I did just that and I struggled when I thought I should then have been totally fulfilled... and yet I wasn´t. It's an experience that has defined how and what I now teach as a yoga teacher, retreat host and woman, it´s clear that the classic model of fulfilment is starting to feel outdated in our society, especially one that has endured a certain level of suffering over the past year. Not only are the effects of the last year shaping our ideals in lasting positive ways but as the opportunity to take on far different concepts has expanded - the definition of fulfilment has had to change accordingly with It and the word SOUL is on the tip of everyone's tongue.

I can only assume the first thing that would come to mind when many people hear the word soul, would be what an enlightened being embodies/nurtures and probably a far-out concept we can´t get to grips with. One thing you certainly wouldn't hear often is people exclaiming is how their soul feels - but for me now, it is almost as productive and balanced as life can get. What makes your soul sing? What makes your soul cry? What makes your soul grow? Have you ever really sat down and asked yourself these questions. Your soul is the real part of you, it´s not your body or your mind or your ego or stories, it´s YOU. A soul needs to be filled with purposeful work, it fundamentally needs to serve and give generously to others, creates good actions and kind words, fun in the sun, fun in the rain, organic friendships, great food and drink, time to recharge and cuddles with your sweethearts, hobbies, creativity, dance, music, laughter, tears, pain, transformation and ultimately love galore. If your soul likes shopping for pretty dresses or the latest technological gadget, fine, if your soul wants to live in a camper van - great, if your soul wants to live in a big house by the sea, great… do you get where I am going here. I learned a long while ago now that fulfilment looks, and feels so very different for every single one of us. I also realised it's so very easy to see how one person lives and in turn decimate our own interpretation of fulfilment. Yet what could be fulfilling for one person could be wildly unproductive for another, but that's something we have to learn, accept and act on.

During my hardcore yoga days when I thought suffering was the fast track to get my yogini brownie points, I lost my sparkle and now I've found that with the emergence of my truth, it's become very easy to feel that sense of inner joy if I honour all parts of myself. It´s so easy for people to insinuate that fulfilment comes before hard work or that it is something to be achieved in the future when you have acquired this/that/things and yet with that comes a certain amount of intrusive thoughts and yet what I have discovered is that fulfilment is a labour of love, a day to day journey that should be unapologetically unique to you and your soul, as well as benefitting all the facets of you that exist. Fulfilment can look as different as you'd like it to look and don't let anyone else sway that for you - you do you.

Maybe you´d like to take a few days this summer to touch in deeply with your Soul and REMEMBER who you truly are, if so I would love to invite you on my unique Soul Rememberance retreat this August in Spain from the 22nd-29th. You can read more HERE.

PS: I´d love to know: What things make your soul sing?

Love Kat xx

L

The Importance of Remembering Who You Truly Are

I guess the alternative and ironic title of this post could perhaps be ´The Importance of Just Doing You´ and yet I've sometimes found it seems so contradictory to share such an easy-going approach to this kind of teaching. If you're anything like me and you struggled in the past with the invisible yet tangible expectations placed on you by both yourself and all the people who have entered your life as the years rolled by, you'll know it feels hard to take a step back, notice and admit that you may have lost your True Self in the midst of trying to get it right.

I recently shared about my personal experience of remembering who I am via my online accounts, if you follow along you maybe have seen I seem to have diverted from a super calm and understated yogi back into my old Self in pink hot pants, dancing on the beach, asking my students to scream ´YES´up into the ether and turning up my productivity rate from about 5 on a good day to an easy 8 every day. There are so many things that I simply can't put into words about how I gradually began to abandon myself, in fact - did I ever really know myself is a question that sits heavy on my heart at the possible truth behind the inquiry and yet the penny has finally dropped quite loudly and suddenly for me.
My transformation into the RIGHT kinda girl started when I had left London and moved to a very beautiful and prestigious (for want of a better word!) area in northern Spain (I honestly say all this with the greatest level of respect, gratitude and love for the town I live and for the various places where everyone lives, I honestly love ALL places, I´m simply laying down my personal facts) and so I unconsciously shaped myself into a person that I believed would be more suitable, a girl that would find it a little easier to fit in. It almost feels like the equivalent of when you're a teenager and you feel like you need to blend into every social situation offered to you, it´s both a survival mechanism, there is definitely a level of maturity and sensibility to this approach, I mean it´s a desirable quality to be able to adapt to a variety of social situations and be considered as at least likeable; the problem is after the show most of us go home from said social jaunt and slip back into our Soul coat and be ourselves - yet I never did, I kept on the mask I was wearing and forgot to take it off.
Of course, there are so many ways the same type of self-abandonment can happen, you name it, you´ve probably heard about it: from people losing themselves to their job, to a messy divorce, new relationship, a new group of friends, an old group of friends that they forgot to upgrade, grief, depression, disappointment, miscarriage, cancer - the list really is endless but the cure is actually quite simple. The only problem is: we don´t often seem to like simple.

But one day suddenly you realise that in fact there are only so many years in a lifetime. And you know what? There are still only so many days in a week and still only so many hours in a day - making it completely our choice and privilege as to how we spend them. And the more I purposefully shine my authentic light every day, ensuring that when do I still show respect and love for the benefit of myself and anyone who chooses to be a part of this community, the more I start to find the joy in life again. The new voice I´ve found, the opinions I´ve been dying to share, the very loud laughter I have, the days I dance and breathe, scream and chant in my bedroom, the chats with new soul friends, standing barefoot in the garden with my coffee, hugging my magic tree and not caring who sees, even remembering how I love fashion, beauty and clothes - things that always bring me some bursts of joy but they bring me more joy that is in connection with the very truth with who I am at a soul level, without also feeling like I have to filter myself to fit in.

One of the traits I have that's seemingly very common as a Capricorn (I'm a Christmas day baby if you believe in the star signs which I always suggest is a good thing to at least look over) is being very ambitious, quite extremely and finally, I feel I can take a deep breath, relax my shoulders and not let my ambitious nature overwhelm me and instead say: “OK, this is who I am, how can I honour my nature?”
We always say with a deep sigh that it's the small things that mean the most, well who knew it was actually your soul that really mattered the most? The importance of remembering who you are will never be lost, even if those small things don't always coincide with a massive revelation, it´s a small day by day process of coming back home to your true self - but it´s a journey I highly urge you take.

Love you community, hope you feel the flutter of your truth, even if it's in a small thing x

Spanish Lifestyle Tips

When I first moved to Spain, straight out of the ELLE HQ in Carnaby Street, London I was blown away by the contrast in lifestyle habits, sure I'd heard the rumours about the Mediterranean diet, doting mothers, siestas and blue zones but I honestly never thought it would be so... well, so true and so healthy. 

I was accustomed to commuting on a busy tube for over an hour each day (loved it btw!) which was a complete contrast to Spain where people considered working more than 10 minutes away from the comfort of their own home an inconvenient lifestyle disaster; I was accustomed to eating little and on the go in-between cracking deadline after deadline and people here were taking three hours for a massive lunch followed by a nap and family time and while my weekends already consisted of plenty of yoga, nice food and friends here it was meal after meal, saving money by eating with your family (most people I know here receive food parcels from their Mamas way into their 40´s!) and totally rejuvenating yourself for your next working week. It took me quite a while to settle in, my nervous system still craved the hustle and bustle but now as I look back I can see that moving to Spain has probably added many years to my life, colour to my eyes, at little peace to my heart and beauty to my life. Here are my top five healthy Spanish lifestyle tips you might like to have a little play with...

1.      Loving Mealtimes.

Spanish people love to eat, their entire life is planned around food but not in the fast food, obesity driven kind of way but rather the fresh fish, vegetables, lentils and high-quality meat kind of way. I remember my first Spanish family meal, everyone gathered around the table, drinking mini tumblers of Spanish white wine called Rueda from Valladolid, (if you want to style your next meal in the spirit of Spain try swapping your large wine glasses for some understated tumblers, I love these ones and buying a bottle of Rueda from ASDA here,) while dipping fresh bread into plates of anchovies from Bermeo, hand-picked red peppers picked, roasted in wood and jarred in Calahorra along with various seafood style canapes. Up next was an organic, free-range chicken born and raised on the family farm, there were no accompanying roast potatoes or veggies, everything is kept simple and excellent produce speaks for itself, the chicken is served alone covered in its own sauce.

This long lunch, rolling into its third hour was followed by coffee and mini cakes from the local patisserie and a long standing tradition called ´After Desk´ which includes sitting around enjoying a Gin & Tonic or liqueur and taking time, lots of time. Mealtimes are the highlight of their days and right there, hidden behind all that food and chatter is what I believe to be one of the biggest health tips from Spain, the appreciation of local ingredients, slow cooking, slow eating, conversation, community, family and taking the time to enjoy what is there.

2. Naps.

I didn't need to move to Spain to love a nap but since I arrived a daily 30 min rest in the afternoon has become one of my non-negotiables. The Spanish have relied on the trusty nap throughout time as a way to split their long days into two productive sessions, a siesta means they can have a productive morning; skip the intense midday heat and productively work later in the evening.
This moment of peace keeps my mind in a state of balance and harmony, I don't necessarily fall asleep but I allow my mind and body to relax and let go of the stresses of the morning routines and rejuvenate, I use a specific relaxation technique that is called Yoga Nidra, some studies have claimed that 20 minutes of profound relaxation can have the same effect as 4 hours sleep, you can try it for free here. And while it may be easier for people to nap in Spain with their long lunch breaks and close to home offices, everyone deserves a weekend nap as an additional snippet of self-care to look forward to.

3. Less travel, more rest.

Like I mentioned previously I was blown away by the fact people in Spain place so much importance on being able to walk to work and it's not just walking to work, it's being able to walk to your gym, your yoga studio, your hairdressers, your beauticians, your fruit shop, your fish shop – practically everything. Again, this was something I totally resisted; I loved travelling far and wide around London hopping from the Flower Market on Columbia Road to the vintage stalls at Brick Lane to the food markets in Borough Street and my yoga jaunt in Primmy Hill, I loved the diversity, the energy, the excitement... but how much energy was I using to do this? I was basically giving away all my physical/mental energy along with the energy of my time and money so that when it came to aspects of creativity, ambition and personal growth I was somewhat lacking. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Do I feel healthier, stronger and more vibrant now that my lifestyle is more restful? Absolutely. I guess it all comes back to that wonderful concept of balance.

Moving to Spain was never something I consciously planned, it came and stole me in the night on the wave of a romance but maybe, just maybe it was the answer to a higher calling for rest and health which I now have the joy and privilege of sharing on Bilbao Yoga Retreats. These two-day well-being retreats I host from my very beautiful Basque home are aimed at stressed -out city folk who are in need of a quick fix of health and healing. I also offer daily yoga classes and Teacher Training Taster events.

If you'd like to answer the call for wholeness I would love to see you someday soon. Kat x

Rustic charm.

Arroz Jugoso, that´s juicy paella to me and you!

Red Tuna is abundant in Cadiz and Tarifa.

Mealtimes are a celebration.

Everyone loves a nap, especially Jacob!

Walking distance please!

No need to buy a hairbrush this summer .

Pebble Meditation for the family

Bella & I have started to do a short mindfulness meditation with pebbles or shells every night before bed, it helps Bella make sense of the stresses and conflicts that she sometimes faces at home/school/in her mind and it helps me to believe that I am capable of meeting my responsibilities with love.

We first discovered this meditation from Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, the modern day Apostle of peace and nonviolence, sometimes we practice using a video with one of his monks and sometimes we make it up as we go along creating our own version.

This meditation helps us to remember that we are part of the earth and we are made of many elements, emotions and moods. The meditation also helps us both to take responsibility for the way we are being in the world, allowing us to wipe the slate clean every night and enter the new day fresh like a flower, strong like a mountain, clear like water and full of space. This moment together also helps us to bond and love one another unconditionally.

What do you need?
4 pebbles, shells, stones, crystals - something that holds the energy of the earth within it.

Method.
1. Sit comfortably and try not to worry about your little one(s) fidgeting, just make sure you feel grounded and calm and that will have a soothing effect on them.
2. Ask the children to bring their hands into prayer position and repeat the magic yoga word together 'namaste'. If you feel comfortable, children love to chant OM 3 times and SHANTI 3 times, it is OK to laugh and have fun with this.
3. Explain that you are going to do a special meditation and that as human beings we have lots and lots of layers just like onions do; while sometimes we may feel very happy, other times we may feel very sad and this meditation will help us to know that every feeling is OK and natural.
4. Close your eyes and smile and listen to the silence.
5. Take the first pebble in your hand and imagine this pebble is a flower.
Suggested words- Sometimes throughout our day we get very busy and tired, sometimes we may feel dry but it is important for us to remember we are FRESH, just like a flower. Please repeat - I am fresh, I am a flower.
6. Smile and enjoy the silence.
7. Take the second pebble in your hand and imagine this pebble is a mountain.
Suggested words - Just like a strong and stable mountain we remember that we are strong and we are stable. We are strong for our families, our friends and so that we can do all our jobs well with love. Please repeat - I am strong, I am stable, I am a mountain.
8. Smile and enjoy the silence.
9. Take the third pebble in your hand and imagine this pebble is water.
Suggested words- Just like water we understand that sometimes the waves in the ocean can be big and busy but underneath the waves, there is always an eternal ocean of calm. Please repeat - I am an ocean of calm, I am water.
10. Smile and enjoy the silence.
11. Take the fourth pebble in your hand and imagine this pebble is space. 
Suggested words- We all need space, our families need space, we need space, space helps us to remember who we are. Please repeat - I am space I feel space, space. 
12. Smile and enjoy the silence.
13. It is really nice to end the meditation by saying a big thank you to the children for meditating with you and to tell them that they are loved unconditionally. Namaste.